The two greatest people who I owe my life to

I write this post to tell you about two people who have saved my life, literally. The first is my father. As I grew up, my family was very broken. Mum and Dad were fighting a lot. I was the only child of my father but I am the youngest of five for my mother. My mother used to threaten my father often that if he wouldn't do what she said than she would take me away from him. So I grew up with the fear that I could one day never be able to see my father again. In my early teens I had a serve mental breakdown and I often thought about suicide. One day I had enough of life and I was waiting for my parents to leave for work so that I could end my life. Before my father left, he must of noticed something was not right with me. He sat down and asked how I was. I never had the guts to tell what I had planned. He asked me how I was feeling and I said that I was fine. He sat there and stared at me and said to grab some lunch and for me to come with him to work. Looking back now I can realise what he had done and on many occasions after that. He knew how to read me like a book. Dad and I had our ups and downs like many teenagers, but he was always there. He supported me in a way that I did things that I never thought I could ever do. Until I was 17, I hardly left the house because of fear. When I hit 17, I got my first job. Even if he didn't agree with my decisions, he always supported me. He gave me the opportunity to win and to fail. My father was my greatest support. When I meet my wife, I had this thought that if my father and my cat liked her than I knew she was the one for me. The first day my father met my future wife, he said that she is the perfect wife for me and my cat loved her to.

About a couple of months before I proposed to my future wife, I had another break down. I hadn't sleep for at least a week. Once again I got to the point where I wanted to end my life. I wrote her a goodbye letter and I started to write one for my father. I sat there staring at the paper, my eyes were full of tears. I stared at a photo of my dad and one of my future wife, part from the letter, everything was set. A little voice inside said that I should go back to the doctors and give them one more try, I didn't want to die, but at that time death looked like the only way out. So I went to the doctor. He gave me something for me to sleep and he contacted my parents to come and get me and not to leave me alone. I slept very hard and long and I woke up feeling like a different person. My next problem was to tell my parents my plan and beg for forgiveness from my future wife. She said that I didn't need her forgiveness but I had to promise her one thing, that I would never try to end my life ever again and that is one promise I will never break. So after all of that we got married. My wife and my father became my supports, helping me along the road to recovery.

One and a half years later, my father passed away from cancer. At the moment I become lost. A major support for all my life was now just gone. My beautiful wife was there to help me through it all. Six months after dads death I had my 4th breakdown. As this happened, a psychologist I was seeing at that time told me if I don't pull my head together I would lose my wife as well. The thought of that flattened me. I got severely sick. But my wife never left me. She became my strength that I needed. Without her I wouldn't be alive today because there have been times that I felt like breaking that promise. My wife suffers from depression as well. I always tell her that she is stronger than I will ever be. She is my rock. If I could give her the world I would.

I agree with Andy Griggs in his song called "She Thinks She Needs Me", my wife says that she needs me, but it is me that needs her. Here is a link to the film clip for that song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UupX46s5XaU

Feeling Alone

Have you ever felt alone? A lot of us have. But for some it affects them quite often. The phobia is called "Monophobia". I have suffered with this phobia on and off for a few years. It not only affects the person who is suffering from it, but it can affect the partner or relatives of that person. Let me explain. The feeling of being alone is an awful feeling. Just imagine getting that feeling out of the blue. You could be sitting in the middle of a shopping centre and all of a sudden this awful feeling takes over. You may be wondering how it affects the person who is with you? It affects them because here you are with them keeping them company and they get this alone feeling. It can make you feel not wanted or that your company is not good enough. But that is further from the truth. I know it makes my wife feel that she's not wanted when I get these feelings. It is only now that she does not take offence to it. According to research, Monophobia can go hand in hand with Agoraphobia. This can cause some discomfort as some may need to be around a lot of people to combat that feeling of loneliness. One way to combat this dilemma, is to build up some confidence with dealing with crowds is to find maybe a park where there is some people around. This will allow the person to interact with people, but with the comfort of a open space. Evidence seems to suggest that the Monophobic suffers have feelings of being unsafe and can be the main focus for them.

One way to reduce this feeling of loneliness is to try to distract yourself. Preferably with something that you find enjoyment, for example a hobby or a walk in the park. Having a few distraction options available to you when you notice the feeling coming on, can sometimes lesson the effects of it. Monophobia like many phobias, cannot be talked or bullied out of someone. Seeing a trained professional can help ease the effects over time.

I hope this has given you a bit of an insight into this phobia and how it has made me feel. Some may find that this phobia affects them in different ways. If you suffer from Monophobic, you are not alone.

Have a break

Do you stop to smell the roses? What I mean is, do you just stop what you are doing and take a break? Most of us at one time or another just go at full pace and don't even stop for a breathe. My father was like that all the time. He worked full time, five days a week and he would have the weekends off. Instead of taking some time to rest on the weekend he would still be flat out working around the house. He would find a task where there was no task that needed doing. He did this for most of his life. If I tried to help him and get some of the work done, he would find more. It took him until four months before he passed away to realise that you need to stop and have a break. Because he didn't let his body recover from the constant rushing, his body was riddle with cancer. I'm not saying that is what caused the cancer, but it didn't help. He took his first holiday two months before he died. We found out that he had an inoperable cancer in the brain the day we got back from his holiday. He said that holiday was one of the best times of his life and he wished that he did it sooner.

So why am I telling you this? Take the time to have a break. Yes a lot of us have to work or care for our children. But what I am getting at is stop and think can the grass wait another day to mow or can the floor wait a couple of days to be swept? Learn from my father and don't leave it till its too late. Even if it is just for 15 minutes to lay in the bath tub and relax or to sit down and watch a funny movie. Think of it this way, if you drove your car all day and all night for a year and only stop to refuel, you would wear out its engine and parts. So, if we only stop refuel our bodies and then we get back into work, eventually, like your car, it will break down. So take the time to smell the roses.

Tomorrows anxieties

“Never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties." Have you ever heard that saying? It is very true! Some of us simply can't help worry about tomorrow, like worrying about going to the doctor tomorrow or a report that is due at work. And most of the time it turns out that we made a mountain out of a mole hill. Yes, there are times that we need to plan for the next day, work out what is needed and how we will go about it. But what I am talking about is when there is nothing we can do or work out to change what will be happening for the next day. For example, I had a skin cancer taken out of my back about a month ago, I was stressing not about the cancer but the needle. I just couldn't get it out of my head that the needle will hurt. So to combat the negative thought, I went and put on a Star Trek DVD, which always takes my mind off of things, it helps distract me. When I calmed down, I used positive thought strategies to tell myself that yes the needle would hurt a little but it will be over in a second and my wife was going to be there so I will be ok. You know what, it worked! Yes, before the procedure I was nervous but I was able to control the worry feelings and stayed calm for the day.

So how do you combat these worrying thoughts and feelings? First, keep telling yourself "that there is nothing that can be done about it now, lets deal with that tomorrow". Second, find something that distracts your mind. Even if it distracts your mind for an hour, you can work on building that hour up to two hours etc. Third, talk to a close friend about it, asking for their advise can help you deal with the problem.

“Never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties." This saying comes from the bible and could not be any more correct. Each day we live, has its own worries and problems. Sometimes leaving a problem until the next day to work it out can help us cope with today's problems.

My Second Award

Wow, another award. Thank you so much Beautiful Dreamer. http://beautifuldreamersdiary.blogspot.com/ . I really appreciate everyone that takes the time to read my blog. Thanks heaps.

The Rules & Regulations are as follows:
-Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass the award on to five most deserving blogger.

-Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author and the name of the blog from whom s/he has received the award.

-Each Superior Scribbler must display the award on his/her blog, and link to The Scholastic Scribe, which explains the award.

-Each blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr Linky List. That way, they'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives this prestigious honour.

-Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog. In keeping with the blogger tradition, I would like to pass this award on to some of the deserving bloggers which I follow:

1. Always a Mom found here: http://llmoore2.blogspot.com/

2. Niqis Nook found here: http://niqisnook.blogspot.com/

3. 2be found here: http://2be4tunate.blogspot.com/

4.Dayne Gingrich found here: http://coachyourmind.blogspot.com/

5. And one back at you Beautiful Dreamer found here: http://dailyinspirationherald.blogspot.com/

New Blog

Hey Everyone, I have created a new blog with the sole purpose of bringing a smile to your day. It includes everyday a Pic of the day and Useless Information of the day.It can be found here http://bringalittlesunshinetoyourday.blogspot.com/
I hope that you enjoy and I look forward to your comments. Please let me know what you think and any ideas that you may have are welcome.

Thanks

My First Award

Hey All,

I won this award from a really great blogger Always A Mom: http://llmoore2.blogspot.com/

With this award you need to follow these few simple rules:

1. Thank the person who gave the award to you.

2. Copy award.

3. Post it in your blog.

4. Tell us 7 things that your readers don't know.

5. Link 7 new bloggers as recipients.

6. Notify winners of award with comment on their blog .

7. Keep being awesome!

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7 THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME

1. I have been happily married for four years to the greatest woman in the world

2. I lost my father two years ago to cancer

3. I enjoy woodworking, gardening and fishing

4. I cherish all that I have learned over the years as they have molded me to whom I am

5. I really would love to have kids one day

6. I love helping others

7. and if the world and everyone was made out of chocolate, then I would be a cannibal. :)

The 7 blogger's who I believe that have great post are: (I would like to nominate more than 7, is that allowed)

1.Beautiful Dreamer blog at:

http://beautifuldreamersdiary.blogspot.com/

2. My Diary blog at:

http://janmrp.blogspot.com/

3. Always A Mom at: (I know that she nominated me, but I believe she deserve one back)

http://llmoore2.blogspot.com/

4. Coach Your Mind at:

http://coachyourmind.blogspot.com/

5. Reduce Footprints at:

http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com/

6. Life Arts Trainer at:

http://lifeartstrainer.blogspot.com/

7. Niqis Nook at:

http://niqisnook.blogspot.com/